Deadlines

I used to blog with the intention that someone would read my posts.  Like me writing my thoughts down was for other people.  There’s a part of me that still hopes people would want to hear what I have to say, and that someday my blog might get famous (for what, I’m not sure).

But there’s something to be said about writing just for yourself.  People do it all the time – keep diaries, journals, jot down their thoughts or their dreams.  I want to write for me.

About five years ago, I had made a list of thirty things I wanted to do before I turned thirty.  I felt like the world was my oyster and I had all the time in the world to complete these things.  Now, I turn thirty in three short months, and I’ve only completed maybe a third of my list.  I feel dejected, inept, and once again, a failure.  I know that I’m not, but I always seem to lean slightly towards the pessimistic viewpoint – even though I want to be an optimist.  God, do I want to be an optimist.

I was watching Grey’s anatomy and Meredith and Cristina talk about being in the dark place.  I kind of feel like I’m there right now.  I don’t feel like I am doing well at work, I miss my friends and the life I had back east, and despite the fact that I want to lose weight, I can’t seem to stop eating.  The way I feel always seems to come down to my weight.

And so, while I was feeling like I was in the dark place last night, I ate a lot of food and felt even worse about myself.

And then I thought, well, I may not be able to check everything off of my ‘Thirty Things’ list, but I can work on the one thing that makes me unhappy.  I’m going to get under 200 lbs before I turn 30.  That is something I can do.  I weight 237 now.

Time to meet this deadline.

things that scare me

It’s funny how things can seem so scary until you actually go and do it for yourself.

I am a chronic over-thinker.  I constantly worry about my capabilities and doubt my ability to perform a task well.  Before I enrolled in the B.Ed program, I often thought: I could never be a teacher.  But now, look at me.  I’m teaching.  I wouldn’t say that I am an anxious person, but if I am having a bad day, my negative thoughts can push me over the edge and I can end up wanting to hide in my bed, away from the world.

So I’m making a list of things that scare me.  Things that give me anxiety and things that I need to address in my life so that I can choose to live fearlessly.  After all, that’s what this blog is all about.  I actually think that’s what life is all about – choosing to face the things that scare you and getting past them.

So here it is, a not-fully-comprehensive list of things that scare me.

  • Driving scares me.  I’m always overthinking it and simply merging on to a highway can cause me to burst into tears.  I’m always worried about getting into an accident.
  • I think I’m scared to really commit and lose weight.  I don’t know why, but I know that I’m fully capable of losing the weight, I just seem to self-sabotage all. the. time.
  • I’m terrified of confrontation.  I don’t do well under pressure and I hate when people are rude to one another.  The confrontation doesn’t even have to include me, haha!
  • I’m scared of sharks.  And all scary things that lurk in deep water.
  • I’m so scared of failing.  As if I’m the only one who make mistakes.
  • I worry all of the time about what people are thinking of me.  I know that it shouldn’t matter, but for some reason many of my actions are based on what I think people would want.  Logically, I know I’m better than that, but I can’t seem to shake it.

These are all things I hope to change about myself.

What are you scared of?

5 Things I’m Grateful For

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As I sit here working on this post, I’m drinking a cup of Yorkshire tea and inhaling the aroma of Sandalwood and Cranberries coming from my Scentsy burner, and I can’t help but think about how thankful I am for this life.  Yes, it’s Thanksgiving, and therefore a wonderfully appropriate time for this post, but I could have written it at any time this year.    This post isn’t being written to brag about my life, but rather to celebrate it and focus on the good things.  Sometimes I tend to focus on the negative aspects of life, and I’ve been working on staying positive.

Because really, my life isn’t so bad.  It’s pretty darn awesome, actually.  Here are five reasons why.

  1. I’m grateful for my husband.
    Not only is he my spouse, he’s my best friend.  He works hard, supports me, and loves me even when I don’t deserve it.  We have had such an adventure during our time together and I can’t wait to see where it will continue.  I am so lucky to have him in my life.
  2. I’m grateful for my family and friends.
    I have always considered myself an introvert, but connecting with others is so, so important to me.  You know when you have one of those great phone calls with an old friend, and when you hang up you feel so good?  I live for those conversations.  I’m so thankful that I have amazing friends, both near and far.
  3. I’m grateful for my job.
    When I embarked on the journey of getting my education degree last year, I was extremely nervous about where I might end up.  Now that I’m a month in to this new job, I couldn’t be more grateful to have a job I love.
  4. I am grateful for technology.
    In this day and age, a lot of what we occurs using technology.  For many reasons, I’m glad I live in a time where we have this technology at our fingertips.  Where I can blog, wear a Fitbit to track my fitness, and video chat with my family from across the country.  We are so lucky for these opportunities.
  5. I’m grateful for my country.
    I’m so proud to live in such a beautiful, diverse country.  Having driven across this vast land when we moved a few months ago, I have so much appreciation for the beautiful scenery and the kind people that can be found here.

What are you grateful for?

Let’s catch up, shall we?

So, it’s been three months since my last post.  Whoops.  It’s funny because the blog has been on my radar, I think about it all the time, but I haven’t actually taken the time to write a post in over three months.  Yikes.

In all fairness, it has been an insanely busy three months.  I spent the summer finding a job, an apartment, and taking a vacation to the UK to visit my husband’s family.  I spent the last month starting my first year of teaching, moving, and basically just settling into this new life of mine.

And guys.  Teaching is busy.  They warned us all through my education degree, but man, there was so much to learn during my first month.  Not only did I have to worry about planning lessons, but I had to learn the ins and outs at this new company.  Basically I felt like I was always playing catch up.  But now, a month in, I feel like I finally have a handle on things and actually have time to plan some awesome lessons.  I work in preschool, so thankfully I don’t have to plan long elaborate lesson plans, but I still need to make sure my days are engaging for the little ones.

Aso for the weight loss efforts, well, since starting work I’ve lots about 14 lbs, which is crazy.  But I’m so busy now that I barely have time to eat lunch, and I’m too busy to even notice if I’m hungry.  I definitely don’t advocate starving yourself to lose weight, and I’m not trying to do that, but losing weight without having to think about it is pretty nice.

Basically, my life right now  consists of my job, weight loss, and spending whatever free time I can get with hubby or reconnecting with old friends.  I have some ideas for some blog posts in the future, so hopefully I can be a little more consistent from now on.

Thanks for taking the time to catch up 🙂

Have a great week!

❤ Michelle

Rocky Mountain Adventures

Ever since we moved to Alberta, hubby has been dying to go visit the mountains.  The town we’re living in is about two hours from Banff and Lake Louise, and since it was hub’s birthday and he had a day off yesterday, we decided to take off and do some exploring.

I grew up in Alberta, and I know I’ve been to Banff with my family, but I definitely don’t remember it.  I was a kid, and probably had my nose stuck in a book for most of the time.  My mom jokes that she should have taken me anywhere as a child because I don’t remember it now anyway.  Either way, it felt new to me, and man, is it ever beautiful there!  I always say that I prefer the ocean to the mountains, but the truth is, both are magnificent.


We left fairly early in the morning and went straight to Banff.  It’s a cute town with a lot of touristy shops.  We wandered around for a bit, and then had lunch on a rooftop patio and this little pub.  Dessert consisted of some ice cream from Cows – it was nice to find a little taste of PEI way over here in Alberta!


It was a really beautiful spot to walk around in.  We had wanted to go for a gondola ride, but figured we should probably save the money.


Following Banff, we decided to drive the half hour up to Lake Louise.  This might be one of the most beautiful spots in the entire world.  I’m not going to lie, I was utterly mesmerized.  It was stunning.  Look at the colour of that water!

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We spent about an hour walking around Lake Louise, and even found a cute little waterfall. It was a great day, and a nice escape.  We can’t wait to go back!


If you have been to Banff or Lake Louise and have any recommendations for our next visit, please share in the comments!  Or hop over to my Facebook page and let me know there 🙂

Wednesday Weigh In

They say that you won’t be able to lose weight until you’re really ready.  Well, I think I’m finally ready.  I’ve wanted to lose weight for years, but could never seem to commit, until recently.  The last week has been a great one for me, and I’m pleased to say that I’m down three pounds since last week.

I purchased a new scale over the weekend, because my old scale (Thinner brand, I believe) was just so inconsistent.  I could step on in 5 different times in one minute and get 5 different weights, all within a 6 pound range or so.  I know that six pounds is not the end of the world, but when you are trying to shed some weight, you want your scale to be as accurate as possible.  My new scale is a Weight Watchers brand, and it seems to be much more consistent.  As in, I can step on five times and get the same weight each time.  Unfortunately, I seem to weigh a couple of pounds more on this scale, so while I was pumped to see the 240’s on my old scale, I’m still in the 25o’s on my new one.  Next week I’ll celebrate 😉

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Old scale on top, new one below.

Speaking of celebrating, today is my hubby’s 30th birthday!  I just want to take a moment and say that I am so, so grateful to have him in my life.  He is one of the most hardworking, genuinely nice people that I know, and my life is so much better since he entered it.  We are hoping to visit the mountains tonight or tomorrow so I’ll make sure to take a lot of pictures.

Happy hump day everyone!

my current favourite salad

Happy Saturday!  And happy (belated) Canada Day.  I hope all you Canadian friends had a great day celebrating Canada’s birthday 🙂  We had a pretty quiet day, my husband works nights, which means he sleeps all day.  I could hear the music and festivities from the local park but I’m too shy and awkward to go alone, so I waited until Rick woke up and we went together around 3pm.  He had to work at night so we didn’t watch any fireworks either.  Ah well.

Before I share with you my favourite salad, I wanted to share a quote that came up on my 5 Minute Journal app.  I love this app, it was created by Alex and Mimi Ikonn, a married couple who I’ve been watching on youtube for a few years now.  The app is great, it really only takes five minutes in the morning and again at night, and I find I’m definitely feeling more mindful as I use it.  Plus it has really great quotes.  You can find more about it here.  You can purchase a hard copy, but I opted for the digital version because I knew I’d be more likely to use it.

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Isn’t that a great quote?  I know there are so many days where I go to bed feeling dejected because I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to, but maybe it’s because I need to adjust my mindset in the morning.  Gotta find that determination when I roll out of bed.


Anyway.  On to my salad.  This is a simple one to make, and there are a ton of variations out there – I know that I have had similar salads at different restaurants throughout the years.  I keep it quite simple, with only a few ingredients, but you could add whatever your heart desires.  I call this the berry-almond-goat cheese deliciousness.

In my salad, I use spinach, or whatever greens we have on hand (pictured is a spring mix from Sobey’s), blueberries, onion, goat cheese, and almonds.  Dressing is the Kraft Balsamic Fig salad dressing.  So. Effing.  Good.  I seriously can’t get enough.  I’ve eaten it every day this week for lunch, and haven’t gotten sick of it yet – and I’m the type that typically can’t eat something two days in a row.  I’ve been eating quite well this week in general, and can’t wait for my weigh-in on Wednesday.

It may not be the absolute healthiest salad out there, but hey, it’s salad.  And I love it.  You will too, trust me.

You’re welcome 😉

Weekly Weigh-In + Little Health Scares

So I wasn’t able to weigh in last week because I was spending the night in Calgary, so that I could observe at my NEW JOB.  I’m so excited to announce that I’ve accepted a job as a pre-school/kindergarten teacher at a school for children with disabilities in the fall.  I didn’t want to announce anything until I had officially signed the contract, which happened yesterday.  I can’t wait to start working, this might actually be my dream job 🙂

I alluded to some little health scares in my title, and I’ll go into more detail now.  For this job, I had to complete some medical testing.  I’ve never had to do this before for a job, so I went in pretty nervous.  My appointment was Monday afternoon.  They first had me pee in a cup, then they took my heigh and weight.  Next, the nurse took my blood pressure.  Now, I’ve never had an issues with my blood pressure in the past (at least not that I know of) but this time the nurse said that my numbers were really high.  Too high, in fact, to continue with the test.  He had me lay down in a quiet room for five minutes, and tried my blood pressure again.  Too high.  Five minutes later, and it was still too high.  They kept telling me I needed to calm down, but I was getting myself all worked up.

They told me to go home and have a nice relaxing evening, and they would squeeze me in the next morning (yesterday morning).  Thankfully, after a good night’s sleep I passed, and was able to continue on with the test.  It consisted of various exercises, running on the treadmill, and lifting weights.  I had no issues with any of that.

I don’t think that I actually have high blood pressure, but just thinking that I do really scared me.  I start my job in exactly two months, and I want to see just how much I can accomplish in the next two months.

I am going to follow the PCOS diet (as best I can) for the next two months, and see what differences occur.  I’m tired of not feeling well, and although I know I’ve said that before, this time I mean it.  Oh, and this week I actually gained a pound.  So it’s time for change.

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Weigh-In Wednesday

This week was a great week!

I have been all over the place the last few days – driving into the city for job interviews, traveling around, and so my eating has been all over the place too.  But I have been going for walks quite often, and I guess I haven’t been eating that much, because I was down 2.5 lbs this week 🙂

It’s a great feeling to see the scale go in the right direction.  It feels  like it has been years since I saw some actual weight loss.  My goal for next week is to get into the 240’s!

 

Wednesday Weigh-In

I seem to be one of those people who are perpetually disappointed when they step on the scale.  I tend to over estimate how much weight I’ll lose each week.  This week, I stepped on the scale and was down exactly one pound.

This past week, I have gone for a walk nearly every day, drank 9 or more cups of water, and monitored what I ate (for the most part).  And I was only down one measly pound.  It’s so disappointing.

The thing I need to learn is not to give up when I get frustrated like this.  I have PCOS, which can make weight loss a lot more difficult.  It means I have to work harder than most people to shed some weight.

So while I want to curl up in bed and eat a whole bag of cheddar popcorn, I’m not going to do that.  I’m going to put on my shoes and go for another walk and then make myself another breakfast.  I’m tired of quitting and starting over.  I need to accept that this is a journey, and I have to be committed for the long term.